[Story Article] Family like this

An offhand remark that comes out of the mouth of a husband "The biggest mistake in life is to marry you!" very often I hear my parents were saying that sentence since I was in kindergarten. Quarrel even hit each of them often occur right in front of my eyes and my brothers. Almost every day we have to be a mouthpiece or in the sense of channeling messages when they need to communicate with each other.When I was stepping twelve years, my parents finally decided to split up and out of the house.

"Don't heeded. that's their business." That is the thinking in the face of my childhood my parents have to 'divorce' house. However, along with increasing age, I began to realize, this becomes a bigger problem than what I think. At first I tried to care about this, but it is not possible for me not to care. Because I was in this matter! I was getting frustrated. "Family" became a topic that I always avoid in conversations with my friends. I tried to remove the word in my mind. One day I was invited to go by my friend's family and we were off to ride along. I listened to them talking and joking as usual, and then suddenly a warm feeling enveloped my heart. Unwittingly I silently crying and somehow I also feel happy, sad, and concerned with myself. And then I said to myself, "Oh, here's a name like family..." I was trying to look back at my own family conditions, there I was very disappointed. I'm angry and even I hate everyone in my family, I'm not trying to hide my feelings were. Because so upset, I was unwittingly also have issued all what the mind and my emotions to my friends so that they had also started away from me and consider me as being very annoying. Seeing that I was tired of living with my family, but I also can not go anywhere. It seemed a long time I could be crazy!

After three years my parents split up, I started not comfortable staying at home. I used to go to school is definitely on a motorcycle but now I started to go home walk sightseeing on the grounds that no sooner arrived home. The only reason I came home was to sleep at night. Until one day, a friend invited me to go to church together. At first I refused but my friend never cease to persuade and encourage me to want to go to church just once. He even said today is a special day and I guarantee you certainly will not return in vain. Finally I also welcome the invitation but with a heart that was not ready and is still in disarray. I also had time to think, if I go then this would be a good reason for not being at home. Not long afterwards I heard that the church will hold a camp for three days. Well, three days is not at home! I said. Without thinking, I immediately told my friend to register myself as a participant of the camp.

It turns out for three days when I followed the camp, it really changed my life long a life that will never be the same again and that's where I know God who saved me. Through this camp I really changed I began to realize my sins and even at the same time I also found that forgiving love which God has given me. I feel very grateful. However, it does not mean life can be completely free of problems. Because there is no perfect human. After the camp I went back to the house and still I still have to face the 'war' is the same every day. It does not make me be a child who seems sweet, kind, and obedient. I also continued to wrestle with the characters that have been formed over a dozen years in me especially since I'm still not able to receive state family.

Those days is not easy, but God patiently held my hand when I often rebelled against Him. Until one day, I sit and reflect on the life and family are still in a state of disarray. That is where I began to realize that such a situation is not only experienced by the family alone. As I began to reflect on these things I will also be able to conclude that, all the family can not be separated from the problem is not only that but my friends and neighbors and even people who are religious or not religious, God's servants who serve full-time or not all of them for sure will not be separated from the problem. So certainly I am not the only person who only wrestled with the problem that I face but a lot of people around me who also face the 'war' may be similar and not infrequently there are up to their situation worse than me. What I experienced during this indeed has demonstrated the reality of the world that have been in sin.

I also realized, I did not choose to be born in a family where, God himself who picked out for me.
So does that mean he does not love me? He gave Jesus His only begotten Son, he gave up his life to save my soul, how could he not love me? He is a good Father and He would have a purpose to put me, his daughter here even though the goal was not entirely understand. The best thing I can do for myself is to accept completely the situation for myself and the family that God has prepared for me. Because the family is the altar of God.

The first step I would do is I'm trying to make peace with myself and tried to open my eyes. This year not much has changed from the family after ten this year but for me I had to see clearly the changes in myself. God has used the conditions to form my family, and I also learned to control my emotions in situations that can lead to anger. I learned to forgive even though there's no guarantee I will not be hurt again. I learned to love those who think the unlovely. God does not change my life to change my situation. He was let me experience everything that happens in the family is also what it means to despair that I may see him as the only hope in my life. He was too good to plan the crime and too wise to do wrong. In the wound, He provides healing, in tears, he provides comfort. (2 Corinth 1:3-4)
In all things, He has a purpose (romans 8:28-29). In all things, He gives strength (Philippians 4:13).

Link Indonesia Version